I’m a blogger now and other uncomfortable truths

I don’t know what I’m doing! I’m not even sure if blogging is still a thing exactly. It might be good to mention here at the start that I’m the sort of person who gets excited about ideas but then sometime after spectacular dream-like brainstorming I get overwhelmed by technical details (why are computers so mean to me?) or generally my limited skill set also known as reality which brings the project to a complete and utter halt. My etsy store is a perfect example. I have a legit etsy store which I never actually posted a single item for sale, like ever. Inventory count zero. This is who I am.

I always marvel at people who have no business doing what they are doing and just do it anyways and they make a way where there wasn’t one. Like most things it’s probably my parents’ fault. I didn’t grow up with a “can do” attitude, more of a “do you have permission for that?” kind of thing. Or maybe I’m just flawed and insecure. A letter from the Queen would go a long way with me inviting me to pursue whatever I want, or audible God would be even nicer.

However, I turned 40 this year and I keep hearing that when you are 40 you don’t care anymore about those things. The letter from the Queen keeps not arriving and anyways it doesn’t matter now. I’ve been talking to God too and it’s like we’re both kicking dust around with our sneakers, and I’m like, “yeah, but what do YOU want to ?” and he’s like “yeah, but what do YOU want to do?”…and it’s getting on my nerves and wasting precious time…because like I said, I’m 40 now and who knows how many more years I have of making sense left?

So basically if you are reading this and wondering, “who does she think she is?” or “doesn’t she know the world does not need to witness another blogger beating dead horses with buzzing bonnets and metaphors”…I know, because I had the same thought!

But here we are.

I’m kind of excited.

I’m also sweating.

Thanks for listening.

(even if you just skimmed real fast, because really it’s ok.) Also, I don’t know what to do with that watery sunset below, so I’ll just leave it for now. It’s going to be like this.